But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
