Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
