lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
FUCK WHALES
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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