His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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