Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
