when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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