oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
