return my video game
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
