My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
