you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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