I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
