I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
