they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
