I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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