I am in a vortex of obligation.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
