New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
