SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
