the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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