I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
