If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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