he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
