Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
