Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
