you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
