So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
