Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
