I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
