Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
