Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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