What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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