you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
