how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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