just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize