haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
