PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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