she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
