my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
