So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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