): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
