I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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