like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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