ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
