Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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