Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
