I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
