I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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