if i can run in heels then i can drive
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
