GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
