Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
