I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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