So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Pooping to opera.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
