then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
