Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
