I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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