Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize