I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
