Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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