It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
